Volcanic Ash = Sad Face

I'll get this out of the way, it is really sad that there was a volcanic eruption and ash it bad for the lungs and not good for air travel. No one is happy that there is ash-air abound. I am sorry if you are stuck in ash-land. No, not Ashland, Oregon where the Shakespeare Festival is held(thanks, elementary school!), but ash-land. Note hyphen.

So back to being selfish.

Ash is stopping flights and that's making it hard to get certain flowers. Why do I know this? It's because I'm still going through post-wedding-depression and keep up with this stuff even after over 2 years of being married. Mr. GB forgives me, or rather, doesn't know I'm still doing this and would probably be horrified if he knew. Thankfully, he doesn't read my blog because he says I'm horribly cryptic and when I was traveling Europe with my landlord before we were dating, he read it and felt miserable. I'm glad I cut that off early. This is also why I can tell you really embarrassing stories about him. Because he doesn't know.


When I build my time machine, I'm going to go back in time and take this bouquet from Mrs. Cowboy Boot and then go further back in time to my wedding. It's a complicated plan, but it just might work...

So what do you do when your dream flowers are unavailable? You do what I did and just let it go. My favorite flowers are dahlias, peonies, and ranunculus. Basically, I like petals and I dislike seeing the... pollen parts. My floral terminology is WIN. I got married in October. Put those together and you have about as sad a face, but not quite, as you get with volcanic ash.

One thing I did, and sometimes this wasn't the best thing... but we won't get into that, is trust my vendors completely. When talking to my floral designer, and just sending her a couple of photos and really very little direction, I let her know that I was fully aware that my favorites were unavailable in October. I didn't push it, I figured that if she could magically make them appear, she would, so it was fine if she couldn't. I'd just check her off of my list of potential emergency magicians. Granted, I had the most awesome floral designer on the planet (not biased at all) but I generally feel that if you're hiring someone, you must love what they have done and you're not blindly picking people out of the phone book.


I'm still in awe of my bouquet and how in comparison, I look like crap. No really, that thing outshone me 100 times over.

The first time I saw my bouquet it was sitting in a plastic bucket, on the ground, outside the back door of the cottage. Talk about presentation. You know if you see your bouquet in such a flattering way and you still love it, it's perfect and going to be so much more awesome when it's not in a crappy bucket.

Moral of this story: don't worry if your flowers are not going to be available - whether that be due to poor timing (geez, you SHOULD have planned your wedding around seasonal blooms!!!) or flight-stopping-ash. Have a little faith, things will be ok. And really, you should be worrying about other things - like boob slippage and falling on your face at a roller skating rink one week before the wedding and being covered in bruises.

Why I'm a jerk-face

I'm laying it all out on the table. I've changed my engagement ring setting TWICE. Yea, that's right. I'm an insensitive, unsentimental jerk-face. Not a jerk, a jerk-face.

I know there are people who have the perfect ring, their dream ring, or it is just the best ring ever because it's their engagement ring. But what do you do when you don't like your ring, or maybe you just want to change it?


honey, I know I said I wanted cartier... but this is not what I had in mind.

I'm one of those people. I'm like the ocean - ever moving/changing and if you wanna be on it, you gotta roll with it. If you don't, I will swallow you whole and no one will ever see you again until your bloated body floats somewhere downstream. Me, master of imagery. Am I attached to my ring? Well, technically, yes. It doesn't come off because I have giant, mannish knuckles from years of martial arts and cracking them while drawing. Sexy! Kidding aside, I do love my ring as it is now.

There are people out there that would be really pissed if you didn't love your ring, get offended, take it as an attack of their love for you that you didn't instantly melt when you got it. Mr. GB is not one of them. While he IS sensitive and romantic, unlike me, and gets googly eyed and lovey-dovey at weddings and nearly cried at our wedding (which I mocked him for), he still agrees with my ring changing policy.

Here is my theory on the ring and why I'm so willing to change it.

People change. I happen to change more often and more drastically than average, but we all change. When Mr. GB met me, I wore crazy clothing from the independent fashion scene in Toronto, 6" platform boots from Japan, had a bevy of backless shirts and neon pink hair. (Yea, he still called me bland.) At some point I had over 20 piercings on my body. And that was after I started to dress like a normal person. I now wear a lot of Anthropologie and cardigans and don't have any more metal on my face. My style has changed drastically over the time I've known Mr. GB and I'm certain it will continue to change. Since all Korean women eventually go down this path, I'll have permed hair and be wearing a lot of St. John outfits very soon.

The ring may be a symbol of our love, but love isn't static. It changes and grows with you. Unless our relationship is exactly the same for the next 30 years, there is no reason for me to be forced to wear the same thing that entire time. No matter how meaningful, it is still jewelry. If instead of rings you received clothing for engagement, and I got an awesome bejeweled, puffy painted, acid washed jean engagement jacket in the early 90s, would I still want to wear it now? Well, probably, but you get the point. I really want a bedazzler and one of those laser school portrait backgrounds for photographic fun. But that's me.


hell. yes. should have had this at the wedding.

Mr. GB and I will love each other no matter how we change, whether that means senile, permed, wearing house dresses and shoving people out of the way to get on the train first so I can get a seat, he's going to still love me. He promised. There are people who don't agree and think I'm terrible, but that's fine. But changing my ring doesn't mean I no longer love Mr. GB, it just means I'm picky and bratty and he's willing to deal with it... I mean, um, that we love each other no matter what we're wearing.

Let's rewind.

Reading Wedding Bee always makes me really really friggin' guilty. Mostly because I know I'm still around and reading it and not saying anything. I'm going to attribute this to my life being so boring that only people who have absolutely nothing better to do would read it. I think between the choice of cleaning the litter box and reading about my day to day life, most people's cats would be very happy. You can use this as a threat if you want your SO to scoop poop "Don't MAKE me read her post aloud!".


ooo! treasure!!

I never shared my meeting Mr. GB story because it's boring. We went to college, I set him up with his last girl friend (we're all still friends), I moved to Japan, I came back, we got together. I didn't steal him, I didn't charm him, we just started hanging out when I moved back and it happened. In fact, I had never even considered the possibility of dating him - he was that ginger kid that would argue with me about Soul Calibur (grr!). He said I was 'out of his league' until he saw the kinds of people I dated and then figured I had no standards and to just go for it. Did I also mention that he thought I was BLAND? Yes, he used the word bland. All you guys out there who want to sweep a girl off her feet need to take a lesson from Mr. GB. He is obviously the pinnacle of romance.

And I never shared my proposal story because... well, he never proposed. *gasp* What?! Why!? Um... because as I've said I'm an anal control freak and I'd be damned if he picked a ring out for me that I had nothing to do with and I really really don't like surprises. And no, I would not have had enough tact to accept it as is and say that it was the thought and emotion behind the ring that counted. He knows better, so he had me make the decisions.

But how did we tell Mr. GB's family? We didn't, someone else did. The Fraud Prevention on his credit card called his father and said "hey, uh... we found this charge..." You see, the card he used was one he got in college that also had his parents' names on it. Uh... surprise?! Rather than being upset, his father was actually really happy... that he had such a great story to tell people about how he found out. We're just glad he didn't reverse the charge and opted to call Mr. GB first.

When my friends asked I told them "The best thing about this is I never have to date ever again." That's love! Well... at least it's honest. And isn't that the best thing about marriage? Finding the person you want to spend the rest of your life with is a completely secondary benefit to the fact that you will never have an awkward break up or that really uncomfortable first date ever again.

If I could go back in time, would I change things? Not at all. I'm not sure how many other people are as involved in the ring process, skipped a proposal, or if anyone's parents found out in a weird way, but it's very fitting for us seeing as we're both bizarre and nothing we do is conventional.
(Mr. GB claims that he was NOT weird until we started dating, that it was a necessary adaptation in order to survive.) Sure honey, you go on thinking that.

This is how we do it.

So, it has been two years since Mr. GB and I said our ridiculous vows and got married. So how have things changed?


we look so sweet!

Well, Mr. GB still lives in constant fear of being kanchoed when going up stairs, so I can safely say our relationship is pretty much the same. We did move from our cute place in Lake Merritt to a larger, cuter place in the Castro... still on the top floor for optimal butt poking opportunities, of course! That's key in the home buying process!! I still put popsicle sticks in cups that he is actively using and leave banana peels on the floor when he's watching me because I know he's going to pick it up... so I'm still a brat and he's still tolerant.

Hm.. all in all, I'm getting a pretty sweet deal, so here's to two years of putting up with my insanity and to many many more!


This is my equivalent to a boudoir photo. Thanks, Lydia!

Ah, the sacrifices we make.

After the wedding, I had my dress cleaned, put it neatly in a bag, and then threw it on the floor in the back of my closet, heaped into a little pile. I thought I might sell it one day, but Mr. GB is sentimental and doesn't want me to. I'm not attached to much, even cards that I give to Mr. GB I hand to him with the trash bag in hand so that after he reads it, I can toss it. I'm sweet, I know.

Well, when Mr. GB and I decided to move, my friend Lydia exclaimed that she would love to take photos in our soon to be empty flat because the light in the unit is amazing. It's true, the light is very nice, but I hate photos.... but I like Lydia more than I hate photos. Ah, the downside of having friends and people you like, you're willing to do things you dislike in order to make them happy or help them out. Reluctantly, I pulled out my neglected dress, prayed to the heavens that it would fit, and dragged my unwilling body in front of her camera to let her steal my soul.

Although I hate photos of myself, Lydia always manages to make me not look completely stupid, although mildly stupid cannot be helped, and it doesn't hurt that Frances is the cutest dog ever.





Lydia is based here in the bay (east bay!), loves taking photos of happy people (although surly people are also welcome) and is a super sweetheart. She makes me not look like crap and she's a pretty awesome singer for playing Rockband.
Lydia Chen Photography

Well, at least I got to wear my dress again for something! I even cleaned the toilet wearing it! And I got that warm tummy feeling when it still fit, going to treat myself to some Bi-Rite Ice Cream for that one!!

If you didn't sell your dress, if you didn't put it into permanent storage or to pass on to another family member, what did you do with your dress?

Going unnoticed

The one thing we always kept in mind while planning our wedding was the feel. That was the most important thing for us - not how I looked, not the details of the ceremony, we didn't even have a rehearsal or plan a ceremony until about 10 minutes before we went out. We didn't want everything to look meticulously planned, we wanted it to feel like we threw it all together and it just was totally casual and relaxed. That means... all those details we put together, really didn't stand out. But that's what I wanted. I didn't want anyone to feel like our wedding was a museum of amazing little details, I wanted people to sit back and relax as if this was just a normal get together.

So these are how our details came together to create our mellow, laid back atmosphere. No one will ever know how I agonized over every single freakin' detail and searched high and low for the perfect _____ that seemed so easy when on the table.

Remember those pillows that I had my friend/slave sew for me? They went on the benches next to the parasols and the palmier cookies we had put together. They don't know that it took hours the night before for us to prepare these cookies.




Our simple unstemmed wine and water glasses, simple plates and twiggy utensils. I've said before, me and stems = spillage, but I also feel it's mildly comforting to anyone who spills. It's a little more secure, a little more casual to not have stemware. Tiny bowls for salt and pepper with equally tiny spoons... and mind you, that's pink salt. I'm just that crazy, I'm sure no one noticed, but it made a difference in my whacked out brain.



Those simple bird nests on the napkins? Those took people a long time, and a million bags of eggs because this nutty person refused to have ANY yellow eggs and wanted 90% white eggs only... Yes, I had bags and bags of yellow and colored eggs stashed just because I only wanted the white ones from the bags. Still think I'm reasonable? I need to be institutionalized. Thank god someone married me, I'm absolutely ridiculous.


my sister, cousin, and my friend who performed the ceremony all slaving away with the eggs early in the morning.

And who could forget the Ann Wood Birds that I gave my left kidney for? And the wire frame pedestals that I had Mr. GB call the manufacturer from the back of a magazine and beg them to sell to us. These were/are things I make him do regularly. We're remodeling our bathroom right now and I made him take back tiles and have new ones overnighted to us because the ones we originally received were matte glazed rather than unglazed. I swear no one else will know, in fact, he won't even be able to tell the difference. But to me, in my mad world, I'd stare at them knowing they weren't the right tiles for however long we lived there. Writing it out I am beginning to realize why my mother was relieved I found someone willing to put up with my crap.


wire pedestals of doom and a bird

more birds, but this time, with cake!

our menu with calligraphy by Bluebird Studios, can't recommend her enough! So sweet!

And last, but not least, my collection of cake stands, the macarons we hand wrapped the night before, the cake boxes for take-home cake and the kraft bags for taking all those home with you.



Did I get all my ridiculous details that no one but me noticed? I think so. Do you want your guests to see and feel the hard work and effort you put into your wedding, or are you content just knowing they're there?

At the very least, I know sticky fingered Korean woman noticed my details! Noticed them straight into her gigantor purse!

Games or Food?

One year and some number of months ago, I got married to my ginger-kid and then didn't talk about it. So here I am, older, not wiser (I may have lost more marbles since there) and trying to piece together my day and share it with you.

I'll spare the details of the cocktail hour, as I was getting changed and apparently Mr. GB was making the rounds talking to everyone. I have no knowledge of what happened, just some photographic evidence of people being happy, eating, drinking, taking photos of themselves....


if you couldn't tell, these girls are who I lived with in Japan, and who actually stayed with us in the hotel the night before and the night of our wedding. That's how Rob and I roll, sleep over with friends on our wedding night!!

We all went down to the lawn to do the usual, toasts and meal. I, of course, walked around to talk to out guests. Mr. GB ate. He did not get up at all, but I don't know if anyone expected him to, he's definitely an eater.

me walking and being social, yes, I am reusing this photo because I'm faceless and shy that way

My sister, and only bridesmaid, talking about my obsession with corn niblets. I love them and their good, sweet, fake buttery goodness.


Mr. GB's brother, and only groomsman, talking about how Mr. GB was (he still is) a brat.

But what did we do with our free time between food and not-being-social? Play games of course!!! We did have some wi-fi action going on with DS around the table waiting for courses, and I finished Phantom Hourglass. I know, we're lame, we're geeks, and all our friends are too so we're proud of our pale, hermit-like internet obsessed selves. Real human interaction...nooooo!




Beyond playing games at the table, we took the unconventional route in some other ways. For instance, it happened to be the birthday of my best friend from elementary school, and mother of the flower girl and ring bearer. I'd be damned if I tried to push her out of the spotlight on her birthday just because I'm getting married, so we made a point to have everyone sing happy birthday to her. She even got cake before we even cut it. Now that I think about it, where the hell did that cake slice come from?


cakey goodness!

Another was our seating arrangement. Most people opt to either sit with family, their bridal party, or alone. Mr. GB and I decided to sit smack dab in the middle of one of the two really long tables surrounded by friends. Our families sat on opposite ends of the other table, mostly to shield my friends and Mr. GB's family from my boisterous nutty Korean family. While I love my family, Mr. GB and I wanted to sit with our friends and chat, play games, and let the families do whatever they wanted. In Mr. GB's family's case, that was socialize and enjoy being at a wedding. For my family, this was an excute to get together and par-tay! That and get souvenirs! I caught one old Korean woman, who I never actually met, stuffing as many bird nests as she could fit into her bag... so maybe they also were there to profit! I was warned about the sticky fingers of middle aged Korean women, but I didn't believe it until now! In a few years, I too will be able to steal from public places and events with no remorse, and I look forward to my perm and people just shaking their heads at the crazy Korean woman over there.




For now, I leave you with this photo of me from the front being happy and not making a stupid face for once in my life.