You need to get out more.

It's true, I do. I'm starting to look like golem and my skin is getting translucent from lack of exposure. I'm expecting to start de-evolving and crawl back into the water, and if I'm lucky, I'll turn into this.

i love these things

Until then, while I still have thumbs and fingers among other things that I will lose upon turning into an Axolotl, I will continue to do useless crafts that make my house a mess and end up with me picking up weird colorful nun-chuck poos from the dogs because they ate magenta thread... you know what I'm talking about. And if you don't, at least you know I pick up their poos like a good owner. I really don't recommend trying to do this on a large scale as it took me around two hours to do one. Granted, this is my first try, so if you're talented, I'm sure you can bust one of these puppies out in no time. Again, this is my first attempt and I'm willing to share with you something I'm sure in about 10 months I'm going to wish I never posted up on the internet for posterity. Be nice. I bled for you - the needle is no joke.


Ok, so I didn't have gray.. or yellow... so I had to make a baby penguin in shades of pink. Let's call that artistic and not a complete lack of foresight or willingness to get off my ass and buy the right colors. I have an excuse, I'm waiting for FedEx, and nothing twists my panties more than missing a package, so I'm not moving for anybody - especially a felt penguin.

Seriously though, it wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be, and it's pretty amazing watching it come together. Who knew wool fibers were so rad? Did I use rad in two sentences? sorry. Buy wool roving, foam pad, scary needles and poke into shape. Easy!

There are a lot of cool things you can do - like.. making your cake toppers!

rainsend on etsy
Or making decorations since you can make fruits and shapes or whatever else you want... like starfishes. You can even make coasters and flat things with the right kind of felt. You can make coin purses and bags for your bridal party, or for yourself and brag about it to that bridal party while handing them a bag of stale cookies and laughing about the orange/seafoam two-tone tafetta dress you forced them to wear. You know, depending on your personality.

If you want to look at some neat stuff, just look up felt craft on etsy! There are some pretty good books about it too, mostly in Japanese, but they are step by step pictures in them. Good luck, and enjoy the bloody mess that will be your abused finger tips after trying this.

There has been a lot of discussion...

about boobage. Now, I'm not overly endowed, but us itty-bitty girls need a way to keep them puppies in for some level of modesty. I'm sure it'd be less than wedding-appropriate to be nipping out all over the farm.

Having an open back dress, I didn't really have that many options, so I'm happy to say that the nu-bra worked well for me. I cannot vouch for girls that have nice big melons, but for the mosquito bite troop, this may work for you!

here it is working well:


I bought one to use at my dress trials, but they are definitely stickiest the first use, so I bought a new one for the day of. It worked well, didn't become less tacky - but I'm also famous for not sweating, so I'm not sure if that is something to be concerned about. I'd recommend buying one and running around and seeing if it can hold up to whatever crazy wedding antics you might get up to. Even if you don't plan on dancing, you should probably do something that makes you sweaty and then perform the best boobshake you can muster in your living room to see if one boob become unstuck and slaps your partner in the face in a less than bridal way. If it manages to come unstuck but slaps them in a very bride-like way, let me know - I want video proof of this classy sweaty boob slap.

here it is withstanding very animated story:


The unfortunate thing about my dress was that because it was a sheath with very little holding it to me, my nu-bra was a very active party member.

It came out to welcome people to a piece of cake!


and it also wanted to introduce us as married!


I have a million photos of it poking out, thank god I'm not modest or I would have very few photos of me at my own wedding. I want everyone that see my wedding photos to share in the joy that was my stick-on-boob-holder. I mean, it was an integral part of my whole wedding experience!

All that being said, it held on with no discomfort and never came unstuck. At more it left my boobs looking a little weird and wrinkly from the stickyness going on not quite evenly.. but that was just more sexiness for Mr. GB to look forward to. Or perhaps a peek into his future 50 years from now.