I'm just detail oriented! (anal)

Mr. GB and I aren't spending a lot of time thinking about the huge aspects of the meal-related decoration. We're not fussing over flowers (I trust my floral designer 120%) and not making a big deal over linens or plates. It's all about the details for us. While I was completely happy with the idea of standard white this and standard that, I didn't want anything on the table that wasn't either completely blend-in-plain or part of my.. er.. vision. It occured to me I didn't want standard ugly salt and pepper shakers, and toyed with the idea of vintage ones, or most likely, none at all.

Then luckily, I found a picture of these little sake cups in a magazine, and since research and digging around for information is part of my job, I hunted down the location and found that the manufacturer/distributors of these cups was here in San Francisco at a place called Tampopo. A puppy dog face and a little tugging and we drove across the bay to pick up a bunch of these little cups as salt and pepper bowls. We figured two sets per table would be enough since we don't expect people really to be seasoning their food.

But I hate salt and pepper bowls that you use your fingers in. It's just icky to me - who knows where the finger has been! There are foul things on fingers and I don't want them in my communal salt bowl. On went the quest for spoons.

I searched high and low for them - originally trying to find mini wood ones, but nothing came up. We were settled on the fact we may have to buy mother-of-pearl caviar spoons when I happened upon these little silver spoons, entirely by chance. They are by FAR the smallest spoons we found and are adorable with their super round bowls and handcrafted imperfect shaping.


PERFECT.


It's in the details I say, and thank god Mr. GB is ok with my insanity. It was cheap if you consider it part of the visual feel, but not cheap if you are just talking about salt and pepper holders. Either way, I find it odd that this is worth it, but no real thoughts about the glasses and plates have ever concerned me. Now what to do with a bunch of bowls and tiny-ass spoons in 3 months...

Mum Pomanders

I found this really easy pomander instruction on the d*s guestblog a while back, conveniently when I was preparing for my housewarming/engagement party.

I bought floral foam, mums, and pearl headed pins and set to work.


It isn't perfect, but it was easy and quick - so if you wanted to make some, I definitely recommend the above instructions! I'm sure with a bit of practice, they won't look nearly as... err.. oblong.

Dress Anxiety + Awesome Discovery

Thanks so much for the support about my current dress, it has been causing more a ridiculous amount of stress since I tried it on last week. I was in tears this morning thinking about all the things I would have to alter in order to even slightly ease the stress about it. Unfortunately, the bridal salon REFUSED to book me an appointment before August when I requested in June, and even gave me a hard time about letting me have one in beginning of August. They were incredibly rude when I expressed I just wanted to TALK to someone about the changes I'd like done. They flat out told me I wasn't important to them because of my wedding date and that they will not talk to me at all about what they can and cannot do until August. No one will even look at it or pin it for me... the woman cut me off when I was asking her questions, to just keep repeating she can't talk to me.

Here is the problem:
The dress is 2-3 inches too large on me in all measurements and I'm only 5'4", so all the curves are several inches lower than mine. I appear to have midget legs, and although a friend helped me hold it up from the shoulders, because the sleeve openings are small and the general structure, it was impossible to get the waist in the right place. My shoulders are also far too small for the dress as is, so they will need to be slimmed down and pulled in... which caused the back of the neck to overlap by many inches.

In all, it's wholly unflattering on me the way I saw it last week. Thanks to the bridal salon for being entirely unhelpful, rude, and refusing to pin it, I have no idea how it will look if I alter it. They won't even tell me they can or cannot do things.

Semi related, but not completely - in my desperate search to find something that would be more comfortable during the reception, I did spend a lot of time looking for a second dress. From vintage shops online, to ebay, to any webstore and all bridesmaid gowns I could find, nothing really called to me. I did find this to share.


images from odastyle

Odastyle is a small fashion design group run by three local girls. I had the pleasure of meeting with them and discussing a possibility in ordering a reception gown custom made through them. Seeing the above gown and possibly having it made shorter and other changes made, is a serious consideration of mine. They use natural, organic, and found materials, vintage lace and the gowns are just amazingly detailed. Everything is handmade, so the possibilities in customization are endless. It doesn't hurt that they are the cute, sweet, and have the best dogs!




If you're considering a custom gown in San Francisco, they are worth meeting. Check out their collection, even if you just want an amazing gown or skirt for wear!


Sadly, I'm still going crazy. Mr. GB says watching me mope around the house in tears after coming home from the dress trial, he wants me to make the decision that will make me happiest, no matter what that means. Selling this one, rushing another, or taking it elsewhere to be altered by someone who isn't going to treat me like poo-poo, it's worth it so I feel beautiful and comfortable on my wedding day. He even let me buy a pint of cardamom ice cream from Ici.

If you're curious, this is the dress that I was considering otherwise.


While I sit eating ice cream and considering my options.... does anyone know a really good place to alter my wedding dress so I can avoid Miss Meany Head?

Unexpected Additions.

I don't hate babies. I don't hate children. But I am incredibly uncomfortable and nervous around them, I don't really know what to do with them. Mr. Gummibear loves watching me when I'm forced to interact with children. My best friend from elementary school placing her 5 month old little girl on my lap... I just stared at her silently. Mr. GB says to interact, but I just freeze, afraid I'm going to break it. He's fine, he loves well behaved children - and particularly my friend's son and daughter.

He wanted to have children at the wedding, at least a ring bearer and flower girl, but we didn't know any children. A few month after the above awkward event, he asked me if we could ask her about having her two children as part of the ceremony. I told him that her son is a good age, but her daughter is only 1 as of this year, but they are both very very well behaved and really wonderful, so I imagine that if it were possible, they'd be perfect.

Determined, Mr. GB came up with the idea of having her daughter ride in a flower decorated radio flyer being pulled by her brother.


The idea is adorable! I ran it by my friend and she was really excited, and thought both her kids would have a lot of fun.

Less than three months to go and I'm trying to figure out the logistics of adding this and finding a dress and suit for her kids. I don't even know where to start - and a little girl at barely 1 is growing so quickly, I don't know how I'll find a dress that will still fit her by the time the wedding comes!

but it's too cute - I can't resist. I'm adding more than I need to my plate, but it's worth it!

Big decisions were never my thing.

I haven't talked much about my dress, I'm guessing because I never was 100% sure I got the right one. It's coming back to haunt me, 5 months later.

Does anyone else feel like being pressured to find a dress months before your wedding date puts it on the urgent to-do list? I wish I had spent a whole lot more time prior to my engagement looking at gowns so I had more research under my belt... alas, I waited until months after my ring was on my finger to look at dresses.

Before I go on, I want to start by saying I do love it. I'm just not sure it's 100% me, and I'm worried about how I'll feel several hours into the reception.

This is it, the "drama in the back" Monique Lhuillier Scarlet.



It's an all outdoor, lounging, games, activity wedding, which had not yet been planned out when I ordered my gown (again, why do we have to do that so early?) so it hadn't been a huge concern of mine to find something really easy to move around in. Now I have this beautiful, elegant, but not exactly comfortable dress and I'm regretting it. Mr. GB is concerned that I'll look uncomfortable, or will spend a great deal of time adjusting it to try and make myself feel more secure.

We had considered getting a different one and trying to sell my current gown to recoup the losses, or getting a second reception gown - but I feel mildly defeated. I'm not sure whether it's worse for me to feel slightly uncomfortable at my wedding or just really really guilty if I do buy something else.


Today, he sat me down and told me to do what I wanted and we'd figure it out either way. That makes me feel more guilty. It'd been better had he said "no, stupid!"

so is it better to be guilty or to be uncomfortable? has anyone else felt like they regretted their purchase and what did you do?

Photos eat my soul

You could call me unphotogenic, you could call me shy, or you could just say that I really freaking hate having my photo taken. I've hated cameras for most of my life, I attribute that to the ridiculously long awkward phase I had growing up. Sometime between 4th and 5th grade, I got ugly, and it didn't stop until after high school graduation. It was an unfortunate time for me, and thankfully, all evidence of my previous medusa-face years are locked away.

It didn't occur to me until a few months into the planning that I was going to have to have photos taken. It was nerve-wrecking. I didn't want to smile, or have photos of me looking wistful and in love. Honestly, the best photos of me are candid shots with my fingers in my nose or drooling. Mr. GB would mock me, laughing that there would soon be proof that I was alive. So when booking a photographer, I had very important criteria: to have as few posed photos as possible.

I'm paranoid of parents and family pressuring me to take a billion photos by a tree, trying to look my best in a fake smile. Taking the same photo over and over because they didn't know if it was a good shot or not. That is my worst nightmare. So when we met with who would be our future photographer and he said, "If you want, when anyone else comes up to me to tell me to take a photo, I will tell then 'I don't do that'"

YES. This is what I wanted, someone who would ignore other when they wanted more posed photos, who would play bad guy so I didn't have to look like the raging camera-hating monster that I am. A sweet sigh of relief. He is actually a photo journalist and does mostly candid photos, all with real film. GASP! film-film? like the olden days? Sounds good to me! It doesn't hurt that he's really easy to talk to, comfortable, and seemingly an all around relaxed guy.

We booked him, anyone who could make me feel comfortable with the idea of having my photo taken, and also promised not to listen to people forcing me to pose was a winner. Oh yes, and his photos are also beautiful, just in case you thought I booked a terrible photographer that was going to cut my head off in every photo... hm, maybe that would have been better.

Tubes of goodness.

My boss in Japan is more excited about the wedding than anyone else, it's so cute. He has been sending me the fabric and linen tape to help with the wedding, making it easy for me to stick with the zakka theme. Now, I have two packages coming - the tracking says it left Osaka yesterday evening. I am the kind of person who sit and hits refresh on my tracking number waiting for it to show any sign of coming here. One box is full of ink and toothpaste... yes, I ordered 31 different random flavors of toothpaste from Japan because I'm a freak. A box of tubes, some edible, some poisonous.

The other is a gocco printer. I don't know how to use it, but I've read it's easy - so my graphic designer friend is coming over and we're going to break open that sucker and try it out. Riso Gocco is a compact machine that does a kind of printing close to silk screening. It's not the same, but it's the closest thing to it and the best way to describe it.


I need to make stickers for my cake to-go bags, so i figured this would be a cheap and homemade way to do it. I'm hoping homemade will make up for it being uneven and craptastic. You know, that quaint kind of messed up! I figure I'll put this drawing on the stickers, only because I want to get some mileage out of it!



Hopefully soon the printer will be here and there will be some fantastic photos of me cover in ink and crying.

Outsourcing my diy.

I already admitted it. I'm entirely unable to do anything crafty unless it is at a 3rd grade level and doesn't involve any objects I could accidently poke my eye out with.

So when we decided not to have chairs with seats for the ceremony and go for long, low benches, I needed to decide whether or not I was up to the task of sewing cushions. I could, of course, rent them, but then I'd have plain fabric, and being insane, I wanted cutesty tootsy fabric. I have an army of seamstresses as friends, but they are either also planning weddings or just as insane as I am, so I'd feel bad asking them to help me with my lame project.

In the end, I called my broken mother. I call her broken as she's recovering from injuring her achille's tendon and has been milking it for all it's worth, hobbling and moaning with a smile on her face, knowing we'll be extra nice as long as she's "suffering". She injured it jump-roping at a church picnic, which by itself is funny, but my dad's response was "I guess you don't know how much you weigh!" I love my parents. My mother and my grandmother are both fully capable seamstresses, so I drove the long trek to their house and brought my materials. Neither of them are currently really working, and my grandmother who's usual duty it is to take care of my cousins, is taking a break from it and has free time.

Should I feel bad I'm using my family as slave labor?
nah, it's only 100 pillows and it's not like whiny-mcwhinerson has anything better to do. I'm joking... mostly, at least.



fabric from shinzi katoh, heather bailey freshcut, etsuko furuya, linen tape from shinzi katoh

Besides, look at all these cute fabrics I've amassed!! I have to use them somehow. The bird fabric on the left is what I'm using for the seat cushions.

Does anyone have ideas of easy things to do with this fabric? I'm thinking of lining the picnic baskets, and if we run out of things to decorate the tables with, making runners.

Wicker from somewhere other than Pier One.

Mr. Gummibear and I really needed to get some shopping done, we're feeling a bit behind because until Ikea, we hadn't bought a single thing for the wedding. Just discussed it. So we made a list of places to had to hit up this week.

Our best and most productive shopping moment was at Daiso. It's a Japanese chain 100 yen store that opened in Daly City last year. Everything in the store is shipped from Japan, $1.50 unless otherwise marked, and for me, tearfully reminiscent. And the stuff that is otherwise marked is a lot rarer than you'd think. Since Zakka is part of our theme, this store was perfect. We found a lot of stuff I wasn't expecting to find in a store, or for so cheap.


ignore Mr. GB being a dutiful shopping car returner, he seems to always get into all my photos.





Mr. GB complains that the photos can't possibly grasp how great this store is, he says the photos make it look like piles and piles of just "stuff". What I say is, keeping in mind that they crammed this 15,500sqft building full of stuff, look at how ridiculously organized they manage to keep it. If anything, you can go to appreciate how organized and clean a place like this is. It's amazing though, and most of the stuff is either cute or useful! Did I mention it's organized?! Ok, so I have mild OCD and walking into H&M or Forever21 makes me seize up in color-arranged horror... so the appeal of having a cheap "junk" store really neat and tidy makes me so excited I could pee.

Other than a few sewing kits and cute knick knacks we bought for here and there, here is the haul:

4 picnic basket, 2 large wicker trays, 2 small ones, 2 bamboo boxes, 2 large baskets... $81. All the items are already pretty cute and mildly detailed, so we're going to decorate them minimally. It fits into the natural wabi-sabi feel, so I'm going to say that anything that doesn't get done in turning them more interesting was entire intentional.

If you're in the bay area (or washington, they have a few there too) definitely stop in to have a look. We weren't expecting to buy anything, but if you end up finding something, you'll get it a lot cheaper there than anywhere else!

Daiso
146 Seramonte Centre
Daly City, CA 94105

Manly-Man Ring! ... with pink accent.

Here I was ready to type up a long post about all the wedding shopping we did yesterday and some amazing deals... but now it's just going to have to wait!

Today, at 7:30am, I got a phone call from Niwaka. Machiko, the super sweet woman who works there, never did get the hang of calling from NY to CA later than 6-8am PST. She apologized profusely, as she always does in that so sweet way that reminds me of when I lived in Japan, and verified that our order had shipped out the morning before and would be arriving today.

Well, it arrived! And like all things in Japan, it was packaged several times - in one fedex box... within another fedex box.. and then a lot of stuffing and finally this:


top:


angled:


Mr. GB fell in love with this ring, a slight twist on top, but neither the thickness of the band, nor the width change throughout the ring. Niwaka carries a lot of organic looking rings, but this was his favorite. Particularly in the matte/brushed (if you order it, the Japanese call it "hairline") finish.

Another reason he wanted it was he felt that he should he get a diamond too. -whine whine, pout pout- He certainly didn't want one on top, some masculine thing about wanting all metal visible. Niwaka offers the option of getting a tiny 0.02 carat diamond in pink, blue, or white set either inside or outside the ring. His secret pink diamond, just for him.

Did I mention they do free engraving?

inside pink diamond + engraving:


Yes, it says BEAN POD. I am the bean. He is the pod. I'm not sure why I'm the bean, but it has been my pet name for a few different boys I dated - and they all came up with it all their own, so I must be very "beany". Perhaps I'm gassy and they thought referring to me as "bean" rather than "fart-master" was cuter. Anyway, they were so sweet when I asked them to put one word on either side of the stone and it's perfect.

About Niwaka....
I read a lot of Japanese magazines, so we had discovered Niwaka through 25ans, a bridal one that I regularly buy. They have a location in NY, but I go to Japan 3-4 times a year, so on our latest spring "gotta fit in a visit before wedding planning takes over" trip to Tokyo, we stopped by their showroom in Aoyama. They were so sweet, allowing us to try on a few rings, discuss the proper Japanese word for "matte finish", and find out the Japanese size of Mr. GB's finger. By the time we left, I had all the information I needed in order to make my order. Machiko is the woman who runs the office in NY, and she is wonderful. If you want to order - just call her in NY and she'll be more than happy to help you. You will probably be prompted to do some of the ordering via phone and some through email because her spoken English is not perfect, but she really is the greatest!

They are currently relocating, so their store is closed. You can still call and make order since the rings are handmade in Kyoto, not NY, and then sent from Japan.

Niwaka USA, Inc.
212-941-5410

ps - this is his current engagement ring, he doesn't know what he's going to do with it after we're married.. any ideas?

Shy about the Shiny.

Is anyone else REALLY shy about her engagement ring? I hide it all the time, tucking my hand into my sleeve, making a point to try and keep it out of sight. It makes me nervous, I think I'm paranoid - I feel like people are always looking at it, sizing me up, sizing Mr. Gummi Bear up. It might be that I've had girls point at it to pressure their boyfriends... and have actually been riding in a car with a girl berated her boyfriend about the difference in size. Mr. Gummi Bear and I sat nervously in the backseat for that drive. It makes me extremely uncomfortable.

So let this be known, I'm only posting about my ring because I love you all! If asked about it in person, I'd just start sweating and my eyes would slowly cross.


My original ring was cute, Mr. Gummi Bear had it custom made for me.... but in reality, it wasn't really made to have a wedding band next to it. We also felt the jeweler we worked with wasn't really willing to work with us, just did what he wanted, and it came out so heavy and unfeminine. In the end, we decided that the wedding band remaining a constant in my life is far more important that preserving the current setting of my engagement ring. The only requirements for this new ring was that we incorporated all the current stones and that another ring would be able to sit flush against it.

I wanted something completely different, something to fit my lifestyle. We bought a 1920's home with all the period details intact, then filled it with retro style and mid-century modern furniture. I wanted something that would refect my vintage obsession...

So we looked around, read some reviews, and settled down on a custom jeweler in San Francisco. (We went to one in Oakland, but the woman was SO snooty, we left disgusted) It was a nice meeting, I really liked the guy this time. We talked a lot about details, because... I'm obsessed with details. on the way home, in fact, I realized I forgot something, so when we got home I made a detailed diagram of angles on graph paper of what I forgot to tell him, scanned it, and had Mr. Gummi Bear email it to him with a few last questions. I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm nuts.

He does everything by hand, no wax molds, no nothing, just pure artistry... which means that my delicate milgrain will only cover .3mm of my diamond edge in the bezel set. To see if I could put a size 4 ring on, he sprayed my hand with windex... it worked. Immediately after said if I needed to get it on or off without windex, spit is slick enough. And you know how much we love it when vendors/artisans/professionals tell us crude or weird things!!



so. I've avoided it long enough. Here are the photos:

my jeweler took these photos for his portfolio, they look totally fake, but this is my actual ring:
-top view-
-angle view-



Satisfied?! I'm going to go crawl into my hole and pretend this never happened. I'll be red faced for days.

I'll be happy to post about Mr. Gummi Bears engagement and wedding rings when it arrives.. Wednesday! yay!

my hippie pillow room... or not.

We went to IKEA today to buy 8 comforters and 32 large "euro" size pillows. You have no idea the kinds of looks you get walking out with two carts stuffed to the brim with pillows and comforters... we did tell people it was for the wedding, but we were tempted to say it's for the large orgy room we're putting in the house. No traumatizing scowling 65 year olds going in for their meatballs today, kids.


So what's this for? Our lounge!

That's right folks, the Gummi Bears don't dance, so no one else will. Well, you can, but we're not sure where and how you'll do it. That and you'll be mostly alone since we have only ~100 guests, most of which are my Korean family who don't dance and also never touch each other except to hit each other in that endearing Korean way. Wriggling your body in close proximity to another body? Out of the question.

We originally wanted this:


We then saw THIS:


-insert grabby hands and drooling here-
So, trip to ikea it was! We're using those blankets and pillows to set up a picnic style area on the grass lawn. We're also putting in picnic baskets, large umbrellas, basket for shoes and courtesy flip-flops. For entertainment, there is a craft area so you can make our scrapbook for us (please no construction paper penises) with polaroids, lawn games, card games, board games should you feel compelled to show off your scrabble prowess. We're also offering a huge assortment of snacks. A coffee/tea station with cookies, a refreshment bar with frescas, lemonade, horchata, bottled sodas, and a few types of fresh fruit popsicles because it's hot out there.

Best of all, we're offering the option to go home early since who really wants to waste an entire Saturday watching me prance around in a foofy dress?


But other than all the above, what else could we offer that would make the whole reception worth staying for? I know, you'd say "the couple" but seriously, that is like covering poop with frosting and telling people to just deal with the poop because I made it "with love". What have you wished there was to do at boring weddings you've been to?


PS. Mr. GB is desperately trying to find a way to have wifi for all of us internet addicted people... can you see me sitting in front of everyone, macbook open ignoring my reception? "Go away, my auction is TOTALLY ending soon!" We're telling everyone to at LEAST, bring your DS and PSP, we all want some multiplayer Mario Kart and Puzzle Quest.

Inappropriate Caterer = True Love.

I do love our venue, but I must come clean, our first love was... the caterer. This was to be our first, out of two, catering tastings. Remember how I said I was all about clicking with my vendors? (more about the cake, later - I promise!) Well, this is no different. My catering tasting was love at first... bite? conversation? Whatever it was, both of us knew we wanted them.

I'll start this by saying that the food was simply amazing!!! They're 100% organic and use local produce, which I'm all about - but good. And they have the same idea about food as we do, food is meant to be eaten and enjoyed, not just looked at and appreciated. Not to say their presentation isn't good, it is! It's appetizing, beautiful and clean, but it's not "art". Instead, it looks like something you immediately want to smash your face into, foregoing stupid utensils that would slow you down.

However, It wasn't just the yummy food that won us over. Several courses into the meal, we were both happily eating our entrees, discussing the wedding and foods we love, how I happen to have a lot of vegan friends, and through that - my friend's vegan dog. I repeat, we were still eating at this point, when she decided to take a chance on us.

- THIS IS NOT FOR THE WEAK OF HEART -

She looked us up and down, and said "I shouldn't be telling you this...." but when continues to tell us a story about how a vegan couple she knew had raised a vegan cat. That cat had kittens, and having never had meat before... proceeded to eat the kittens immediately. Again, we were eating. We'd just met her. She wanted us to book her as our caterer.

We were sold. Anyone who would be daring enough to tell us that disgusting and unappetizing of a story to two potential clients was right in our book! She sized us up in that hour and a half as the kind of couple would appreciate that story. Not in the sick morbid enjoying the death of kittens kind of way, but the irony of a couple of vegans taking all that time to raise a cat vegan, only to have the carnivorous instincts take over. Then promply be forced to watch something far worse than just feeding your cat a can of iams.


I'm sure your opinion of me now has your eyebrows raised, between metal in odd places and dead kittens, but I promise it'll be all mostly clean from here!

"Body Modification" or "Issues of a Freak"

I'm not tattooed all over my body and hanging myself from hooks, but I've got a little bit of color on my skin and a whole lot of mini holes. I've managed to keep the worst of it a secret from my family, mostly thanks to their own denial that they have a freakish daughter, and partially out of my paranoid that my EXTREMELY conservative family would flip out.

I'm now having a few problems with this side of my life in regards to the wedding:

1. I managed to hide my.. er.. body piercings from my mother when I was trying on gowns for the first time. There was a point where she peeked in and I had to scramble to cover them, but I think in combination with her denial, the complete lack of knowledge that you can pierce/tattoo parts like that, and the quickness of the coverage, they didn't register. So, now at the fittings and at the actual wedding, how will I cover it? I can't wear a bra because my gown is backless, in fact, I can't wear much of anything when I'm crawling into the dress... is it better to tell them now in warning, or forego that moment when my mother is helping me get into a dress and grab the dress and run into the bathroom to put it on?

2. I have gigantic ear holes from when I stretched out my lobes.

See that hole? MASSIVE. Do I ignore it and use the second hole? Order something custom made to fit? I certainly don't want to close it because it hurt a ridiculous amount to get it that large and I like them, but I'm lost as to what to do about them.

3. I don't want to completely ignore this side of my life for the wedding. Since the engagement, I have grown my hair out naturally and let the brown just be... but prior to then, I had neon pink hair for years. Is there any way to merge the alternative crazy Miss Gummi Bear with the vintage loving home maker totally normal looking Miss Gummi Bear? My friend, and stylist, says he wants to slice and dye my hair between the wedding and the ceremony. I'd do it if I thought it was possible, but I don't know anywhere you can get a portable sink for bleaching and dying!

Anyone else a freak like me and have more creative ways of dealing with these issues?